Superwoman

I don't even know where to begin. I love my mom. I LOVE my mom. So many times I have said that I wanted to be nothing like my mother and I hated the frustration she sometimes brought. But tonight I sit back and think about it, think about our relationship....

Junior/Senior year my mom and I started to grow apart a lot. I didn't want to tell her things. I didn't want her advice. I wanted to do the things she didn't want me to. I wasn't as defiant as most but it angered me. I felt like she was holding me back. I even accused her once of destroying and putting down my dreams. I once aspired to be a musician. And, in all honestly, I probably could have if I had truly wanted it. At the time, I wanted to go to a music school and tone my skills that God had given me. But my mom shot it down. She told me that she didn't approve of me going to a school like that. I was crushed. I thought my mom was saying she didn't like who I was becoming; that she was saying she didn't approve of who I wanted to be. So I distanced myself and convinced my mind that she didn't want the best for me. I left for my first year of college, glad that I could be away from that and start doing what I wanted.

But God had other plans...

My mom was right. I wasn't cut out for music. I wasn't even cut out for my second choice, English. It wasn't meant for me; I just didn't know it at the time. Slowly, freshman year of college I started growing back into a friendship with my mom. I started telling her about who I liked and who I didn't, what profs where cool and which I would avoid for eternity, what I struggled with. This year my mom and I started having monthly dinners together and I began to look forward to them! I told my mom things I never thought I'd tell her! Guilt and shame that I felt. Things that i was not proud of. Things I was angry about. Things I desired. Now, I keep my mom updated. I don't tell her everything (hey! A girl's gotta have SOME freedom!) but I tell her what is important to me and I make sure that everyone who means a lot to me meets her because I hope that someday I can be half the woman she is. Half of her would be...incredible! My mom is one of the strongest people I know! She's been through...so much. She's seen so much and helped people through so much. Even tonight my bestie and I were talking about a bunch of things and she brought up something my mom mentioned to her. It made me happy that my friends look up to my mom too. My mom's heart is so far reaching. She loves so many as if they were her own flesh and blood. I only hope to be just like her. She's so silly (just ask about yoga fish or helmets) yet she cares so much about the people in her life that she is willing to sacrafice for them. She is so trong. She is my hero. I want to be my mom because my mom is Superwoman.